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Guest Post:

  Co-parenting--It's for your children

One of the goals for couples involved in a divorce or separation process is to develop a co-parenting agreement that's in the best interest of the children. It's my pleasure to share this guest post that explains the importance of co-parenting. -mw

Co-Parenting: It’s for Your Children

By: Tim Backes

When you divorce and have children, you need to work through how you and your
ex will parent them. Of course the family court has a say as well, but parents get to
negotiate on many of the finer details.

You will need to work out these details and present the court with a clear and
actionable parenting plan. Some of the aspects will have to follow your state’s
predefined standards
, but you can add in your own provisions.

As long as everything appears to be legal and put in place with the best interests of
the children involved, most judges will sign off.

3 Reasons Why Co-Parenting is Beneficial for Your Children
Believe or not, even though you and your ex decided to call it quits, it’s better for
you both to be in your children’s’ lives. Here are a few examples of why.

Your Focus Shifts to Your Children
People going through a divorce often fall into the trap of spending all of their
resources, their time, money, and attention, on doing whatever they can to hurt
their ex. Even if you have an amicable split, you can get overly focused on trying to
get the most that you can, regardless of whether it’s money, property, or time with
your kids.

By making a commitment early on that you are your ex-spouse are going to co-
parent, you can stop worrying about the divorce. You can instead focus your time
and energy on raising your children and spending time with them.

Your Children Get More of Everything
This might be hard to swallow, but there’s a solid chance that you aren’t Superman
or Superwoman. Even if you are the greatest parent in the universe, there’s only one
of you.

When both parents are involved in the lives of their children, each child gets double
the input. They get to learn from the experiences of both of you. They can hear
different music, eat different foods, and just take in more culture when they spend
time with both parents.

Mental Health Professionals Recommend It

It’s no surprise that in the past many family courts often favored putting children of
divorced families with the mother. However, times have definitely changed.
Over the past decade, the trend is leaning towards health professionals
recommending co-parenting
instead. They didn’t come to this conclusion lightly or
without reason.

Co-parenting though isn’t a magic bullet for divorced parents to raise happy and
healthy children. For co-parenting to work best, both parents have to buy in.

In Summary
Over the last decade there has been a strong shift away from sole custody and
towards co-parenting for children of divorcing parents. The main idea is that is
makes for a more healthy and well-rounded upbringing for most children.
There are extreme circumstances where co-parenting is not recommenced, such as
when one parent is an addict or violent offender, but is most cases you will see
family courts try to keep families together as much as a divorced family can remain
in tact.

Tim Backes is the senior editor for Custody X Change, a parenting plan and custody calendar software solution (